Refill all old "snuff" cans with compost material.
Point out that one of their salad bowls says "Cool Whip Lite" and the others are regular.
Loosen the screws on the outhouse seat.
Do not stand when Dixie is played.
***warning***this might get you kilt***
Replace the copy of "Juniors Live Bait and Transmission Repair" Fall Catalog with a copy of the Wall Street Journal....
Always order a hot dog with saurkraut...
Call them up and ask them if they have Prince Albert in a can, wait til they say yes then say "well you better let him out!!"
Install a sign outside the local churches that say "Please, do not bring spitoons into the church"
Run an ad in the paper for a "Miss Chattanooga Chew" pagent, wait til all the entrants are on the stage, then announce that candidates must have front teeth to be considered.
Switch the ProperPH and the PreparationH in the grocery store for hours of fun! They won't get any pimples on their butt, but their face is sure to start shrinking up!
Reply to every sentence with "No Ingles!"
Ask where to find some lox and knishes.
Call everyone you meet "friend."....
Start every sentence with ....up north we always...
These jokes created in a brainstormin session by Marjorie Ward and daughter..Wendy Sellers....if you want to copy them, fine, but, leave our names on here..thanks..