Two rednecks meet on a road. One has a burlap bag thrown over his shoulder. "Hey Billy-Bob, what ya git in tha sack?" Rufus asked.
"Chickens," Billy-Bob said. "If'n I guess how many, can I have one?" asked Rufus. Why, if you can do that, you can have em both," Billy-Bob replied.
"O.K. You got five of em," Rufus said.
Your dog sleeps closer to you than your wife does.
Your wife attended The Tammy Fay House of Charm.....
You've ever named one of your children after your dog.
Your dog passes gas and you claim it....
You pass gas and your dog passes out...
...You've ever used panty hose for a coffee filter...
You've ever had to knock down the cob webs to use the bathroom...
You've ever stolen clothes off a scarecrow...
You grow your own Vidalia Onions...
You think a cursor is someone who swears a lot
You can't visit relatives without getting mud on your tires.
Your mother does not put on her shoes to go grocery shopping.
You buy jewelry at a hardware store..
YOU THINK TOBACCO COMPANIES HAVE DONE NOTHING WRONG...
yOU'VE EVER SHOP LIFTED sPAM..
Chiggers are on your top 5 list of hygiene concerns.
Your belt buckle weighs more than you do..
Your coffee table use to be a cable spool.
Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.
yuo'd rather put weed killer on your yard than mow it.
Yer mom calls you over to change the flat tire... on her house.
You use the term "over yonder" more than once a month
You have the taxidermists number on speed dial.
You've ever bathed in flea and tick soap.
You use your fishing license as your ID..
There's more carpet on your toilet..than on the floors...
People ask to hunt in your front yard...