..Redneck Road Sighn..
..A major network is planning the show "Survivor 12" this winter. In response, Texas is planning "Survivor, Texas Style." The contestants will start in Dallas, travel through Waco, Austin, San Antonio, over to Houston, and down to Brownsville. They will proceed up to Del Rio, on to El Paso, then to Midland/Odessa, Lubbock, and Amarillo. From there, they proceed to Abilene, and on to Ft. Worth and back to Dallas.
..Each will be driving a pink Volvo with a bumper sticker that reads, "I'm gay, I voted for John Kerry, and I'm here to confiscate your guns."
The first one to make it back to Dallas wins.
You are a techneck if:
You fix 8-track tape decks for all your friends..
There is a whole bunch of broken-down computers in your yard.
You use wireless electric pick-ups on all your guitars and banjos.
Your band sells its CDs of Will the Circle be Unbroken on the Internet.
Without blinking an eye, you can crush a beer can in one hand, pull a match from a matchbook and strike it with the other hand, surf the Internet with a foot mouse and tap your other foot while whistling Dixie.
You keep your militia group's file of subversives on DVD-ROM.
Your semi-automatic pistol is really a digital candid camera.
Your computerized satellite dish automatically aligns with the satellite, no matter which direction you drive your hulking, gas-guzzling, cruise-control "built-like-a-brick" recreational vehicle.
The rear window of your truck are voice-activated, released by your voice only.
Your super-big-wheel monster pickup truck eats SUV's for breakfast, Pac-Man style.
Your transistorized robotic hound dog can track a raccoon faster than anyone. It runs on Purina Dog Chow or rechargeable batteries, but still barks every time a car drives past your house.
You can carve a 10-point buck with a CAD-CAM design program.
You know city people are the crazy ones.
..another pool..??..guess theyre popular..
