I'll take Shakesphere for $1000 Alex

Those shorts are too short Darla...

Is my hair too long?

Elvis who..??..

CHECKMATE...!!...

SPITTING is such a nasty habit..

Brains n what?..(no joke)

Who's Richard Petty?

...we're vegeterians.

...Wrasslins fake...

I thought Graceland was tacky..

we do not use firearms in this house

give me the small bag of pork rinds

duct tape won't fix that..

you can't feed that to the dog...

can I get saurkraut on my hot dog?

I don't have a favorite college team..

I'll take my dressing on the side

Lisa Marie was lucky to find Michael...

Would ya like your fish poached or boiled?

I've got two cases of ZIMA for the Super Bowl..

I've got it all on a floppy disk..

I've traveled the world many times..

We havn't seen this here episode of Hee Haw.

Come to think of it I'll have the Heineken

Does the salad bar have sprouts

those tires are too big...

Cappuchino tastes better n expresso

trim the fat off that steak, honey..

anyone seen the sideburn trimmer

no kids in the back of the truck..It's dangerous

I couldn't find anything at Wal-Mart today..

Little Debbie cakes are too fattnin

she's too old to be wearin a bikini..

Sweetie do these bonsai trees need watering?

Honey, I think ya cooked these green beans too long

do ya have un-sweetened tea?

A Redneck comes home and finds his house on fire..he rushed to his neigbors and telephones the fire department...Hurry over here..my house is on fire!! ...OK..replies the fireman...how do we get there? ....Don't you still have those little red trucks?

......You might be a NASCAR fan if......you think heaven looks a lot like Daytona Beach...you have a life size cut-out of Dale Earnhardt in your living room...though unable to actually read the Richard Petty story..you enjoy looking at all the pictures...