I started this out only going to put trucker's jokes on here, but I have decided to put more than that, I sure hope you enjoy them..
I originally wrote this page for my brother-in-law Jimmy, I made him up a little booklet of jokes. Now I pass it on to my son too. Oh! No!
A very Short Redneck Story
A man turns to the guy next to him at a bar and asks..do you want to hear a REDNECK story?
The guy says..Buddy..I'm 6 feet 220 pounds, I'm a Redneck. You see the guy on the other side of you?..That's Bubba SR, he's 236 pounds of solid muscle and he's a Redneck too..And the guy next to him?..He's a trucker who weighs 397 and he's a redneck..now do ya still wanna tell your REDNECK story?
The fella says..nope..I'd hate to have to explain it THREEE times..!!..
..... Jokes for Truckers...
Why did 18 truckers go to the movie together?
How do truckers take a bubble bath?
What do you get when 6 JB Hunt truckers leave a truck stop?
What do you call a trucker with an IQ of 100?
How many truckers does it take to change a lightbulb?
How many blind people does it take to put in a light bulb?
What goes......VROOM.......screech....VROOM....screech...vroom..SCREECH?
How does Helen Keller drive?
What did the trucker say when someone asked if their signals were working?
Ya know about 18 wheelers don’t ya?
Why aren’t truckers allowed at Mac Donald’s anymore?
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There were some kids on an overpass throwing bricks tied to a rope over onto the road. A trucker comes along, snags one of the bricks and pulls the kids arm right off. They charged the trucker with armed robbery.
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There was an Indian who lived right in the way of a construction sight. The construction workers asked him to move, he replies Bowels no move. They send a doctor out to see the old guy, he gives him some medicine. The next day the doc comes back and is told once more Bowels no move. He gives him stronger medicine. The next day the doc returns and asks how things are going. The Indian replies Bowels have to move, tee pee full of crap.
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answers below
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answers.......
It said under 17 not admitted
They eat beans for dinner
12 parking spaces
Smart
None, they’d rather sit in the dark and whine
It depends on weather the switch is on or off..
A new trucker at a flashing yellow light!!!!!
With one hand on the wheel, the other on the road
yes--no--yes--no--yes--no
They’re just 4 wheelers with 14 training wheels
They keep gettin hurt on the playground equipment
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Forest Gump------Life is like your next dispatch---you never know where it’s gonna take you.....
Ya heard about Lorenna Bobbit’s sister? She tried the same thing and missed. They charged her with misda-weiner. hahahhahahahahahah
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BIG SALE..!!!..
Italian snow tires. Dago thru snow...Dago thru water...Dago thru mud...And when Dago flat.....Dago...WOP...WOP...WOP....beware of Polish imitations.......
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TRUCK DRIVERS HOTLINE
You have reached the truck drivers hotline...........No one is available to take your call right now...leave a message and a driver might call you back..... Or.... if you have a touch-tone radio you may use our automated menu as follows:
Press...1 for a radio check.....
Press...7 for a shower ticket....
Press...8 for a SHUT-UP STUPID.....if you are in Ohio...
Press...9 for bondsman information.....
Thank you for calling the truck drivers hotline
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3 truckers........die and go to heaven, they are standing in front of St Peter. St Peter says "Oh Man I made a big mistake, you guys weren’t supposed to be here yet". Tell you what, you guys can go back and be whatever you want to be.
The first driver says he wants to be a movie star, because they are pampered. St. Peter says ok, go ahead and jump and yell MOVIE STAR on your way down. So the first driver does. The second driver says he wants to be a race car driver, he likes to drive fast. St. Peter tells him to go ahead and do the same thing and yell RACE CAR DRIVER as he jumps. Now comes the third fellow, he wants to be a BOUNTY HUNTER, go ahead and jump says St. Peter, while running for the door the guy trips, on the way down he is yelling OH! SHIT!
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What’s the difference between a truck driver and Al Bundy?
How do Germans pronounce constipated?
What did the elephant say to the naked man?
What does JB Hunt stand for?
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Heard about the little old lady truck driver who liked to knit while she drove? She was knitting away and a State Trooper notices she is speeding. He hollers PULLOVER She hollers back.......NO CARDIGAN!
Just for all you women truckers...
How do you grow your own dope?
answers........ None
Farfrompooooin
It’s kinda cute..but..can it pick up peanuts?
Just beginners holding up nation’s traffic!!
Plant a man!!!
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A trucker comes home to find his wife rubbin her boobs with lemon, he asks what on earth are you doing?
She says I heard if you rub em with lemon, they get bigger. He says well, then why don’t you use toilet paper? Toilet paper? She asks. He says yeah, you’ve been wiping your butt with it all these years, and look how big it’s gotten...
Created..June 1998..