....this page is dedicated to my dear, darling daughter Wendy Beth..aka..Flossie....Flossie May.. or just plain Floss...and her dear look alike niece..Kara Alayne..
To this day Wendy at times will say mom, tell them I do nothing to my hair...Kara's hair seems to be the same..I use to tell her it was dirty blonde..she would say NO it is blonde. More so at some times than others.
Be sure to visit my
..I do not understand..one day I put graphics on here .. the next they're gone..
..EASTER.
..recipes..crafts..cards to send..
..more dumb blonds..??..how can there be more..??..
1700+ Rednecks one liners and jokes..now with pictures..ya gotta see these..have a laugh..
..all on the clean side..
featuring number 28.. what do a blonde and a Mexican name their offspring?
..NEW..
..reeley dum blonds....dum..
....The Dumb Blond..
She sent me a fax with a stamp on it.
She thought a quarterback was a refund.
She tried to put M&M's in alphabetic order.
She thought Eartha Kitt was a set of garden tools.
She thought cantaloupe was a marital problem.
She thought General Mills was in the army.
She thought Meow Mix was a gathering for cats.
She tried to drown a fish.
She tripped over the cordless phone.
She put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind.
She told me to meet her at the corner of "Walk" and "Don't Walk."
She got locked up in a grocery store and starved to death.
She took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
At the bottom of an application where it says "Sign Here," she put "Libra."
She asked for a price check at the Dollar Store. (that is not such a joke anymore)
It takes her two hours to watch "Sixty Minutes."
When she saw the "NA-17" (Not admitted under 17), she went home and got 16 friends.
She thinks that Taco Bell is where you pay your phone bill.
Heard about the blond who bought a new AM radio?..Took her a month to find out she can use it in the evening too.
What do you give a blond who has everything?..
What do you call a blonde who's lost 90% of her intelligence?
I'm a natural blond..so..please speak slowly..
There was a blond who came to work one day crying..her boss asks what is wrong? She replies her mother has died. The boss says go home, relax. She says NO she will feel better at work..later the boss comes back..she is crying harder yet..the boss comforts her..the blond tells her boss..my sister just called and her mother died too..!!..
What do you call blonde twins doing bubble gum commercials?
How can you tell if a blonde has been using your lawnmower?
How can you tell which tricycle belongs to the blonde?
Why does a blond work 7 days a week?
What do you call a blond mother in law?
Why does God give horses 2% more brains than blonds..
ANSWERS..
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..divorced..
Penicillen..
Double Dumb
The Green WELCOME mat is ripped to shreds
It's the one with the kickstand
So you don't have to retrain her
So they won't poop in the street during parades
an airbag
How many blondes does it take to make oatmeal-raisin cookies?
..3..one to mix the batter..two to squeeze the rabbit..
Blonds at Christmas..do they?
Buy presents for themselves?
Top Reasons Why COmputers n Blondes don't mix..
"Like, there's more numbers than 0 and 1!"
It's not easy to remove fingernail polish from the keys.
The alphabet is not in the right order on the keyboard.
Computers refuse to answer when blondes talk to them.
Blondes can't figure out which key starts the processor.
The screen can't handle that much whiteout.
Too many broken nails jam the keyboard.
They keep trying to force feed cheese to the mouse.
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hear about the blonde tap dancer?..she slipped and slid down the drain
ya hear about the blonde who got fired from the M&M factory for throwing out all the Ws.
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1.. what do ya get when ya give a blonde a penny for her thoughts
2.. what do you call a blonde at the bottom of a pool
3..What do you call a dozen blonds in a fridge
4.. how do you know a blonde sent the fax
5.. how does a blonde lose 5 pounds
6.. why are the Japanese so smart?
7.. how do you drive a blonde crazy
8.. how do you measure a blondes IQ
9.. what do you call two blondes sitting behind a steering wheel
10.. what does a blonde do when she ruins her Tupperware
11.. why did the blonde put lipstick on her forehead
12.. how did the blonde burn her nose
13.. What do you call a dozen blondes in a basement
14.. why are blond jokes so short?
15.. how many blondes does it take to make chocolate chip cookies
16.. why didn't the blonde want a window seat on the airplane
17.. how do you make a blondes eyes light up
18.. why do blondes smile when it's lightening outside
19.. what do you call 10 blonds standing ear to ear
20.. what do you call 15 blondes standing in a circle
21.. what do you call a blonde skeleton in a closet
22.. what do you call a fly buzzing in a blonds head
23.. what did the blonde say when she looked in the box of Cheerios
24.. what's a blondes favorite rock group
25.. what do you see when you look in a blondes eyes
26.. why do blonds drive VWs
27.. what's black and fuzzy and hangs from the ceiling
28.. what do a blonde and a Mexican name their offspring?
29.. how do you drive a blond wacky
Did you hear about the blonde who stayed up all night to see where the sun went? ...It finally dawned on her...
A blonde and brunette are walking in a park..the brunette says oh look at the dead bird..the blonde glances up towards the sky and asks WHERE?
30.. what do you do when a blonde throws a hand grenade at you
31.. what job description does a blonde have at an M&M factory
32.. whats the blonde cheer
33.. why does the blond only change her baby's diaper every month
34.. why do blondes die before help arrives
35.. how do blonde brain cells die
36.. What is a blond's favorite wine?
Wendy is really a pretty smart girl and did outscore me on the at home IQ test!!
Now...I have just thought of something..why are blond jokes directed towards women? We surely know about blond, stuck up men!!
37.. What does a blonde call her pet zebra
38.. why does it take longer to make a blonde snowman than a regular one
39.. Why did the blond climb the clear glass wall?
40.. How can you tell if a blond has been working at her computer?
41.. Why are blonds boobs square?
42.. What do you call an intelligent blond?
43.. What do you call a blond standing between two brunettes?
44..What do you call a brunette talking between two blonds?
45..What do you call a blond on campus?
46.. how do you make a blond laugh on Monday??
47.. why was the blond so happy when she finished the puzzle in 6 months?
48..why are blond jokes so stupid
49.. what do you call a blond with an IQ of 100?
50.. how many blonds does it take to grease a combine?
51.. while a man was talking on the phone he kept hollering out the window..green side up..green side up..green side up..WHY?
52.. how can you tell when another blond has been at the computer?
53.. what is the advantage of being married to a blond?
54.. why do blonds write TGIF on their shoes?
55.. if a blond and a brunette jump off a cliff who lands first ?
56.. What do blonds and cow pies have in common?
57.. How do you drown a blond?
58.. how do you confuse a blond?
59.. why do blondes get their periods
60.. what do ya call 4 blondes in a VW
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answers below*
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1.. change
2.. an air bubble
3.. Frosted Flakes
4.. there is a stamp on it
5.. she takes off her make up
6.. there are no blondes in Japan
7.. give her one of them Where's Waldo books
8.. with a tire gauge
9.. dual air bags
10.. she calls a plastic surgeon
11.. she was trying to make up her mind
12.. she was bobbing for french fries
13.. a wine cellar
14.. so brunettes can remember them
15.. ..10..one to make the batter and nine to peel the M&Ms
16.. she had just dried her hair and she didn't want it to get messed up
17.. shine a flashlight in her ear
18.. they think someone is taking their picture
19.. a wind tunnel
20..a dope ring
21..last year's hide and go seek champ
22.. Space Invader
23.. look at all the donut seeds
24.. Air Supply
25.. the back of her head
26.. they can't spell Porsche
27.. a blonde electrician
28.. Retardo
29.. give her a bag of M&Ms and tell her to alphabetize them
30.. pull the pin and throw it back
A blonde was driving to Disneyland..almost within sight of it she sees a sign that says DISNEYLAND LEFT..so she turns around and goes home
YOU know I know someone who just might do this..kinda scary..and we know who we are..takes 3 hours to make a 45 minute trip and uses Knottsberry Farm Halloween Night as an excuse..
You know how we thought CHIPS on TV was such a joke? I use to call it the WRECK OF THE DAY SHOW..!!..Well in sunny California this really does happen..3 wrecks in one trip alone..one car on top of another..but of course this was on Friday night..
On her way home the same blonde drove past another sign that says CLEAN REST ROOMS 8 MILES..by the time she drives 8 miles she has cleaned 45 restrooms..
hahaha
31.. proof reading
32.. I'm blonde..I'm blonde..I'm BLON??..Oh Well..!!..
33.. right on the box it says good for up to 2 months
34.. they forget how to dial 911
35.. alone
36.. ....Daaaaaddy..I want to go to Miami!..
37.. Spot
38.. you have to hollow out the head..
39.. to see what was on the other side
40.. there is White-Out all over their screen
41.. They forget to take the Kleenex out of the box
42.. a Golden Retriever
43.. Confused...
44.. An interpreter...
45.. A visitor
46.. Tell her a joke on Friday
47.. because the box said 3-6 years
48.. so men can understand them
49.. gifted
50.. one..but you have to pull her through real slow
51.. he had 7 blonds putting sod down in the yard
52.. there is writing on the White Out
53.. You get to park in handicapped spaces
54.. so she can remember..toes go in first
55.. the brunette..the blond stops to ask for directions
56.. they both get easier to pick up as they age
57.. put a mirror on the bottom of a pool
58.. tell them to alphabetize your M&Ms...
59.. they deserve them
60.. far from thinking
visit Ma Ma Redneck's joke of a page..home of 1700+ Redneck one liners and jokes..
started August 1998